Archive for May, 2010

Pet Loss: 5 Ways to Prevent it from Happening to You

It’s hard for me but recovering… in a slow way


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Pet Loss: 5 Ways to Prevent it from Happening to You

These days there are too many ways to lose our pets. We have to worry about dog snatchers, hit-and-run drivers, another neighborhood dog, animal control, or the accidental swallowing of household items, like a needle. And while no one likes to think that we could ever lose our pets, there are a handful of things we can do to help prevent some of these from happening.

Take care of your pets

By taking proper care of your pet you lesson the risk that anyone will have cause to take your pet from you. This means properly feeding, watering and housing your pets. Do not have 10 dogs living in one dog house. Make sure their living area is clean and free of feces and filth. If you have too many pets to care for, cannot afford them, or don’t want them, then do them and yourself a favor and give them up for adoption. Do not be the next person we watch on Animal Planet being raided by the animal control officer.

Train your pet

Training your pet to come when called on a reliable basis is a requirement for keeping your pets out of trouble. This does not replace a leash law. If you are going to walk your dog on busy streets, then use a leash. Do not think that you dog could not ever disobey you. The desire to chase a rabbit might easily outweigh the desire to come to you. This training will also help to prevent any unwanted problems with other people. In this day of “suing happiness”, why risk fines or worse because your dog jumped on someone.

Supervise your pets

No matter how well trained your pet is, when they are unsupervised they can and will get into things. They are curious natural explorers. They will find twig, sticks and anything that resembles one to chew on. If you left your favorite tools outside, these become a risk to your pet. Remember to look at things around your yard from a pet’s perspective. They are low to the ground, sniff for bugs, chew on rocks and dig in the dirt. When they do this, they are looking for stuff to keep themselves occupied with. Make sure what they find is not a hazard to them.

Pet Proof your house

This goes hand in hand with supervising your pets, but is quite commonly missed or done incorrectly We always assume that since the dog never jumps on the counter when we are home that they will never do it when we are not. Well, you’re wrong. If you have a dog that is large enough to reach stuff, then move that stuff, or risk losing it to the unsupervised curious dog. Pet proofing means eliminate all potential threats to your pet. Take away anything they can chew or swallow, remove things they can knock over or break, and cover anything that has sharp edges. Take the same precautions with your pets as you would a newborn baby.

Get pet insurance coverage

Many better insurance companies, and online companies like VPI Pet Insurance, offer direct pet insurance to you. These insurance carriers will cover your pet for a host of issues ranging from having your pet spayed or neutered to cancer treatments or surgeries. There is no way to know ahead of time if your pet will develop some medical issue that could cost you thousands of dollars.

Because your pets can be lost in so many manners, it is absolutely crucial that you take what steps you can to protect your pets. You are not trying to protect just from harm, but from other people, other animals and the ever rising costs of pet care. You want the best for your pet because they are a member of the family. Do the best you can for your loved ones, including your pets, and they should be with you for many years to come.

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How to Cope With Uncaring Friends After Losing a Pet

How to Cope With Uncaring Friends After Losing a Pet

For people who love and keep pets, one of the most traumatic moments they will ever experience is bidding farewell to their furry of feathered best friend. Most pet people imagine that they could not feel any worse than they do during this terrible experience. Unfortunately, often we can, and for the most ironic of reasons.

At a time when we are at our lowest and sorely in need of comforting from a friend or relative, instead, too frequently we find callousness or indifference. Sometimes those we love come up short in the compassion department and unwittingly say cruel and hurtful things. Commonly, we hear things like “get over it already, it was just a cat”, or “what is your problem, just go buy another dog”. Friends don’t mean to be cruel. Some simply do not understand the depth of our pain or cannot relate to how we are feeling.

I want to caution you not to over-react to their lack of understanding. Don’t buy into the philosophy that when you are down and out, you will learn who your true friends are by the way they act toward you. This may be true when you lose your job or when you become divorced, because friendships are often based on social considerations. If the make-up of your family changes, for instance (i.e. your wife leaves with the children, etc.), your neighbors may not find you as socially attractive as before. If you lose your job, and coincidentally your income, you may not be able to afford membership at the local golf club and shallow friends may shun you because you have become a potential burden to them.

Losing a pet does not usually change your social status, however. It does not make you an unattractive neighbor or economically-challenged golf partner. Consequently, if your friends are not there for you when you need their support, there probably are other factors at play that have nothing to do with your friendship.

Friends undoubtedly feel your pain very, very deeply. They perceive that you are very low and they want to help, but sometimes even your closest friends do not know what to do for you. They are not sure how to react to your grief. They do not know how to approach the topic or are afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Their first response is usually an attempt to try to cheer you up, not realizing that this is the last thing you need or want. That failing, they feel inadequate and unable to help. Perhaps they are ashamed that they initially came across as flippant when they did not mean to. Now, certain that they have offended you, they try to avoid you, or at least avoid the topic. The effect is that they appear to be indifferent and unfeeling in your hour of need.

This makes them no less your friend than they were before your loss. They still love you and care about you. They simply are not equipped emotionally to help. We perceive this as a failure on their part, and indeed, it is; but it is a failure to know how to help, not a failure as a friend.

If you value your friendship, your reaction to this perceived failure should be one of grace. The relationship may hang on your ability to be understanding. Undoubtedly, it is unfair to you in your hour of need to be required to exercise wisdom and compassion for someone who you think is letting you down. But if you value that relationship, it is worth the effort. Don’t react harshly. Don’t react impulsively. Put your emotions on hold until such time that you can make a measured response.

I have found that by saying something like: “I know that what I am going through is difficult for you to understand. I know you want to help me, but there is really nothing you can do right now. I need to go through the pain and I need to grieve. If you would just give me some time and be patient, eventually my pain will be manageable and I will start being my old self again”; friends will give you space and understand.

Then, the ball is in your court. Don’t let what you told them be words only. You need to follow through on your promise. Grieve as long as you must, but start to focus on returning to normal. Time will assist you in that goal, but real healing comes from within.

Most of us play the “what if” game and wind up blaming ourselves for one thing or another regarding the passing of our pets. Don’t do that. No matter what the circumstances, don’t blame yourself for what happened. Focus on the love and devotion you had for your best friend and concentrate on the good times. Eventually, you will wake up one morning and realize your life is returning to normal.

When you do, you will see that friends and family are still there for you. Forgive their inability to relate to what you were going through. It doesn’t mean they didn’t care. It doesn’t mean they didn’t love you. In fact, in most cases you will find that it was because they cared, because they loved you, that they kept their distance in respect for your grief.

Grieving is one of the few times in our lives when we are allowed to be selfish and to over-indulge. You take whatever time you need in this very private matter. No one should tell you how long to mourn. Set those who care about you at ease and let them know you need time to grieve and be alone. But when you are finished, return to normal for them. The pain will still be there, but you will have framed it in context with the rest of your life and other relationships will have remained intact.

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Dealing With Pet Loss – By a 17 Year Old

Still hurts after a month later


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Dealing With Pet Loss – By a 17 Year Old

Losing a pet is like losing a family member; it is very hard to deal with especially if they have been a part of your life for a long time. There are no real set ways to deal with this loss. Losing your pet it is heart wrenching, sad, depressing and deeply hurtful. It takes a long time to mourn. Everyone needs to find their own way to cope with these feelings.

As a child losing a pet is the hardest thing that they can go through other than losing a close family member or friend. Most have been growing up with their pet and have close bonds. They are true companions, and best friends. They have shared a lot of fun together and made great memories.

I am a 17-year-old boy and I recently lost my dog Tucker who was 20 years old. He had been around my whole life and the thought that he might someday die never really crossed my mind. We shared so many great times together, swimming in the pool, going for rides, playing with his toys and cuddling. He was also my sounding board, he listened but never judged me.

He had been sick for a few months because of the complications of old age. But still doing well enough. He was a fighter and wasn’t ready to leave us. However, one day he became very sick and he couldn’t eat. That went into two days; he looked so sad and sick. We had to put him down it was one of the hardest things I could bare. I stayed in the room with him and so did my brother and father. Our mother was very close to Tucker and she could not stand to be there. All our hearts were breaking.

The way I dealt with the pain was I took a long drive and reflected on the good times that I had with him. After the drive I came home and went up to my room and stared at the ceiling, I just wanted t to be alone and think. A lot of things changed after his passing, it just wasn’t the same, and it never will be.

With the support of my friends and family they helped me to realize that he is in a better place and I will see him when it is my time. Just the other day I thought I saw him lying on my mother’s bed and I went in to pat him. This is going to be a long hard journey, but each day it gets a little easier. And I will always have our memories.

My suggestion for people to help deal with the loss of their pet would be to listen to calming music and reflect on the good times that they had with their pet and think of special moments you shared together. Another way could be to get a new pet. Some people feel that they need to fill the void left and it gives them something else to start loving and take their mind off of their beloved pet. For me that was not an option. Another good way is to find a close friend or a relative that you have known for a while and just talk to them because they will be there to comfort you. And they can share in your stories and memories. Creating a memorial is another way to help remember your pet.

Written by: Nick Dawkins
http://www.mypet-memorial.net

The Loss of a Pet

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Pet Loss: Bereavement, Remembering, And Letting Go

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Pet Loss: Bereavement, Remembering, And Letting Go

“When I was a teenager, my dog Dora passed away after a venomous snake bit her. I could not believe it; one moment we were all asleep, and the next Dora was barking her lungs out and pawing at the ground, and the third moment she was dead. We could not bear to move her lifeless body out, but it had to be done. My dad buried her at our farm during the early morning hours. I have had many dogs after that, but none of them were quite as special as that one dog – I miss her even today.” – Helena Evans.

The bond between humans and their pets is a special one. It cannot be explained, it has to be felt to be understood. Animals offer us a kind of companionship that we cannot get from other human beings: continuous camaraderie, silent support, unstinting devotion and complete control. Little wonder then that people love their pets and consider them to be members of the family. Many pet owners celebrate their pet’s birthdays, anniversaries
and even carry their pictures in their wallet.

Love for our pets automatically turns into grief when they die. Like fellow humans, pets also leave a void in the lives of their owners. But, while it is natural to mourn the loss of a human, some may consider it strange if you mourn your animal companion. You may have had a routine with your pet – feeding him, taking him for walks, talking to him, fondling him or funny quirks and tricks. Whatever you did, your pet was always waiting at home for you, willing to accept you unconditionally and responding excitedly every time you went to him. When he suddenly disappears from the scene, it is natural for you to feel abandoned and a little lost – at least for a while.

People deal with grief in different ways. Ideally, you have to acknowledge and deal with your grief before you can move on. The grieving process is individual to every person; it may last for a few days in some cases, in others it may last months or even years.

Here are certain tips to help you deal with your loss:

1) Acknowledge your loss; accept it as a loss and do not try to shrug it off. Even if it’s an animal you have lost, remember that it was an important relationship.

2) Give yourself time to grieve and if any one tells you that ‘it’s just a dog’ or ‘after all, it’s only a cat’ – tell them to find the deepest river and jump in it.

3) You may experience feelings of loss, pain or guilt. Share these feelings with people who can empathize.

4) Allow yourself some time to get over your grief.

Euthanasia and grief:
Grief often becomes laced with guilt and remorse if death occurred due to euthanasia. You know all the reasons, but you may still feel bitter pangs eating away at you. To help yourself get over such feelings, join a pet loss support group, or better yet, prepare a memorial for your pet. Writing down your feelings in a diary also helps.

Seniors and grief:
If you are a senior citizen living alone with your pet or dependent on him for anything, the loss is bound to hit you even harder. Seniors must try to handle their loss by interacting with other family members, joining a support group or even volunteering for social service.

Children and grief:
The loss of a beloved pet affects everyone in the family. It may be your child’s first brush with death. If so, your child may experience natural feelings of guilt, anger, depression and fear. Do not try to protect your child by lying to him. Expressing your own sadness and reassuring the child will help him handle his grief in a positive manner.

Other pets and grief:
The loss of a pet may even cause your other pets to show signs and symptoms of grief. They may refuse to eat or drink or may become lethargic and dull. Or, they may just be affected by your emotional state and distress. Whatever the reasons, treat your other pets with tender loving care and patience.

Jigsaw of Golden Retriever a Labrador Dog from Ardea

• Photo Jigsaw 17×12 (43x30cm)
• ME-501 Golden Retriever a Labrador Dog Group Johan De Meester Please note that prints are for personal display purposes only and may not be reproduced in any way. contact details tel 020 8672 2067
• Bespoke 300 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle 17×12 inches (43x30cm). The jigsaw is delivered bagged and on a back board making a superb gift. Also supplied are a re-sealable bag, a photo example of the image and a self assemble flat packed box for storage.
• Licensed Ardea Merchandise
• © Copyright Ardea – All Rights Reserved

Photo Jigsaw 17×12 (43x30cm). ME-501 Golden Retriever a Labrador Dog Group Johan De Meester Please note that prints are for personal display purposes only and may not be reproduced in any way. contact details tel 020 8672 2067

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Pet Memorials – People Find Peace in Pets’ Passing

Pet Memorials – People Find Peace in Pets’ Passing

With a tremendous love for animals, Colleen Mihelich has an understanding of the deep grief associated with their death, something she remembered when she lost her quarter horse named Pepper when she was 16 years old. Many of us have been touched by the loss of a beloved pet, and since Colleen understands the heartache of that loss, she has devoted her career to a company and website called Peternity.com. It is dedicated to helping others honor the loss of their pets through a pet memorial.

Although Pepper was gone, Mihelich knew that the love she felt for her horse would never go away. That’s why she decided that people needed a way to help keep their memories alive and created an online community, a pet memorial website. Here, grieving pet owners can choose handcrafted pet memorial products including custom pet grave markers, memorial pet urns, garden statue pet memorial stones, keepsake boxes, pet portrait and art and tribute paintings, glass art, burial boxes and more.

We’ve all found little nuggets of wisdom or inspirational stories that have helped us move on,” said Mihelich, founder of Peternity. Many of us found little nuggets of wisdom or inspirational stories along the way that have helped us move on,” said Mihelich, founder of Peternity. “The loss of a pet is a very difficult thing. That’s why grieving the loss is an important step towards healing; just about as important to many people as the loss of a human being.”

Continually on the lookout for unique, handcrafted pieces of art to help her customers express their love, joy and memories, Mihelich believes that people wish to honor their cherished friends with elegance, dignity and honor, and that their pets deserve the very best. That’s why her company searches for the finest craftsmanship and quality.

Her company also provides grieving support, and people can find links to pet loss information and pet loss counseling websites to help them say goodbye to their beloved pet. It’s particularly helpful for parents assisting children with a pet loss. Guests on the website can create virtual pet memorials via a living pet memorial to share loving memories and favorite stories about their pets with family and friends, including a written tribute, and dialog and photographs that honor their pet’s memory.

Bereavement counselor Marty Tousley says, “One of the biggest myths about the grief that accompanies pet loss is that it’s somehow different than grieving the loss of a human. When love is lost it does not matter if it’s a human or an animal, because we still feel grief.”

The American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA) 2007-2008 National Pet Owners survey states that 63 percent of U.S. households own a pet, which equates to 71.1 million homes, up from 56 percent in 1988. APPMA estimated the spending of .8 billion on pets in 2007 in the United States.

“It would be impossible to say how much we appreciate all that Peternity did in helping us with our stone for Buddy. It is just beautiful and we couldn’t possibly be happier with how it turned out,” said Alan and Stephanie Thomas.